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Drunk catIt’s not just you—even a drunk cat can’t stand this season’s American Idol.

If there’s anything better than idolizing the rich and famous, it’s seeing them act like the stupid, regular ol’ human beings that they are. And thanks to alcohol and video cameras, we can now revel in smug satisfaction by watching these drunk celebrities make fools of themselves in full color glory. Pop open a beer or grab a cocktail—the show is about to begin.

5. Danny DeVito Lit Up on The View

Yes, The View is a morning television program, and yes, Danny DeVito is hammered to the gills. Apparently Danny had a late night out with George Clooney that kept going straight through show time. Here’s a hint… never mix Limoncello and red wine.

4. Tracy Morgan Plowed in El Paso

One can’t be sure if Tracy Morgan is actually drunk or under the influence of something else. But he’s clearly out of his freaking gourd in the appearance on a local El Paso local morning show. Good times.

3. Ben Affleck Loaded and Horny

Affleck completely sexually harasses this poor Canadian correspondent on an obviously altered Sunday morning set appearance. Worse than all the boob jokes is Ben’s lame attempt at a French accent. This dude is the Pepe Le Pew of drunk Hollywood losers.

2. David Hasselhoff Hammered With Hamburger

This one is sad more than anything. The former Baywatch and Knight Rider star, who is reportedly still huge in Germany, falls off the wagon. His daughter videotapes him drunk and sloppily eating a hamburger off the floor, which results in him losing visitation rights with his children thanks to an ongoing struggle related to the end of his 16-year marriage to actress Pamela Bach.

1. Paris Hilton Blitzed and Bigoted

Paris, Paris, Paris. Who knew that a regular old night of excessive drinking and your typical slurs against blacks, Jews and lesbians would come back to haunt you in a Los Angeles correctional facility? There are some ladies waiting to teach you a lesson in the showers, and it ain’t the dance lessons you so desperately need.

Thanks to Problogger for the inspiration. Now show me the money. ;)

Oh, and for more listy fun, check out 37 Famously Stupid Celebrity Quotes!

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