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Revive her libido

Couple kissing - Credit: iStockPhoto.com
How to revive her libido

It is generally considered normal for sex to dwindle as a relationship progresses. Familiarity with one another means there are very few surprises left, and you know exactly what the other one is going to do, when they’re going to do it, precisely how it’s going to be done, and what is expected of you in return. The spontaneity usually disappears and sometimes the sex stops altogether.

If the problem is connected to her Libido, however, and not with your feelings about the relationship, there are some things you can do about it -- with or without her knowledge.

Keep in mind that depression, auto-immune diseases and other fatigue-inducing illnesses are hard on intimate relationships. So, if you suspect there is a medical reason for her low libido, these strategies are beneficial to try -- just don’t expect any miracles.

Exercise together

I know: boring. But it really works. Everyone knows what all the right things to do are regarding exercise, eating fruits and vegetables, drinking water, etc., but how many of us actually do them? And how many of us complain when we feel like crap? Exercising -- even just going for a walk -- will stimulate all sorts of good things, like endorphins, in our bodies. To simplify it: If she feels more energized, you are more likely to benefit with sexual rewards. But, it’s not just your sex life that will benefit, it’s everything! She will be in a better mood for a longer period of time, she will be more tolerant, she will have more energy, she will be less stressed, and she’ll be more inclined to be spontaneous and fun. Her self-esteem will improve immediately, as will her self-image. And the “magic” of exercise applies to you too, so get into it together and you will get results -- probably far sooner than you expect.

Detox

Our bodies eject their own poisons every day. This happens with normal cellular activity; it doesn’t have to be because you smoke, drink too much, eat fast food all the time or live in a polluted city. In saying that, however, most of us do one or two or all of the above, which only adds to the burden on our bodies cleaning systems: the liver, kidneys, bowels, and skin. Add to that a lack of exercise, fresh water and quality food, and you have the recipe for a sluggish toxic body. This clearly affects not only the libido, but the entire body. It might result in acne, constipation, eczema, allergies, low energy levels or low sex drive.

We tend to think that we can do whatever we like and our bodies should still work perfectly well, but it doesn’t happen like that. One thing at a time starts to slack off until we wake up one day wondering where our youth and vitality (and virility) has gone.


A detox by living a healthier lifestyle can help both you and your girl get your groove back. There are also a number of excellent books you can buy online that will help you on your way to improving your daily habits and lifestyle. Suggest this detox as something you can do together -- like quitting smoking and throwing out all the junk food in your pantry -- and you might notice a rise in her energy level sooner rather than later.

Adventure together

Being exhilarated is not something we experience every day (unless you happen to be a skydiving instructor). Exhilaration shocks our bodies with adrenalin, widens our eyes, loses our breath, and stupefies us by wonder. This could come from climbing a mountain, riding a horse, going four-wheel driving, or taking a ride in a hot air balloon. If you and your girl are really brave, bungee jumping, skydiving, hang gliding will all do the trick too. Whatever your adrenaline-pumping activity of choice, the simple joy of doing something different together will bring a twinkle to her eyes, a smile to her lips, and a spark to her heart -- a good recipe for having fun in and out of the bedroom.

Communicate your desires

Take the time to reconnect with her. It’s very easy to get embarrassed, hurt, humiliated or feel rejected when it comes to sex -- or a lack of it. Many couples clam up and pretend the problem isn’t happening. So, it’s important to open up about the problems you may both be having. Figure out why the passion has disappeared and do proper problem-solving (yes boring, but not as boring as living without hot sex forever) and develop a plan of action. This is no doubt the best strategy of them all because couples who communicate well have more sex and better sex than couples who don’t. Plus, once she gets any issues she may be having off her chest to her loving and supportive partner, chances are that she might experience a libido wakeup call.

Schedule sex

You need to make time for passion; it can’t always be spontaneous, Hollywood-inspired lovemaking. Often in our busy lives we are too tired, stressed or preoccupied to put our best foot forward when it comes to the most important relationship in our lives, and this high-stress lifestyle could be the very thing that’s killing her libido. Making time is important to ensure that you regularly see, communicate with and actively love your partner, and that you also have energy for quality ”touch time." It is a well-known fact that the more sex we get, the more sex we want, so scheduling a sex date may sound a bit ridiculous, but believe me, you will both look forward to it. Make it romantic : Go on a date or do something special, even if it’s getting takeout and sharing a bottle of wine. It doesn’t have to take up a whole evening; in fact can just be an hour or two where you and your partner come first.

libido lifters

A low libido is the symptom of a deeper problem -- you may not know exactly what the problem is, but you can try some different methods to find a solution. Think carefully before you act, and always try to communicate clearly with your partner. If you approach the discussion with respect and love, you can’t go wrong.

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