Have you ever wondered what other people get up to in their spare time? Why, competing in world sex records, of course. Here are some of the top guys and gals showing the rest of us how it can be done, should we care to try. There are also a selection of the weird and wonderful body parts and acts that have befallen our fellow men and women, and we've listed them all in our list of unusual sex records.
Most children fatheredMoulay Ismail Ibn Sharif, Morocco
Moulay Ismail Ibn Sharif set this sex record in the 17th century when he added a whopping 1,042 recorded offspring to his harem of about 500 wives. He had been a busy boy -- what with all those weddings, births and, no doubt, a few funerals. If you’re wondering who this guy is, he was the second ruler of the Moroccan Alaouite dynasty. He is known as a great figure in Moroccan history, but not only for his contribution to the birth statistics; he contributed to the lasting respect of Moroccan independence.
Amazingly, the woman to give birth to the most children was a peasant’s wife from Shuya (east of Moscow); in 27 births between 1725 and 1765, she expelled 16 pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets and four sets of quadruplets.
The biggest and smallest penisesBarnacle, The Ocean
Because measuring penises is often hard to do accurately -- yes, we know you exaggerate -- there isn’t much reliable data on this topic for the 21st century. The most impressive medically verified penis sets the sex record at 13.5 inches (34 cm) long and 6.25 inches (16 cm) wide, measured in the early 20th century by Dr. Robert L. Dickenson (seriously!).
The smallest penis ever recorded sets the sex record at 0.39 inches (1 cm). There are a couple of conditions that can leave a man lacking so dramatically in his nether region. One such condition is having a micropenis, where most of the penis actually resides inside the body. The other is a condition called congenital hypoplasia, where the glans of the penis is attached directly to the pubis, so the shaft of the penis doesn’t exist.
In the entire animal kingdom, the humble barnacle has the largest penis in proportion to its body size: A barnacle’s penis is 42 times its own body length. In second place, the Argentine Blue-bill duck has the longest penis relative to its body size. It has the added benefit of being shaped like a corkscrew, so it not only deposits sperm but helps to “screw” any other bird’s semen out. Considering most birds don’t even have penises, the Blue-bill is doing alright.
Whales win the biggest awards, with Rorqual whales sporting 10-foot (3 m) long schlongs, which can be up to 1 foot (30 cm) in diameter. Hippopotamuses and elephants come in at a far second, with penises of up to 2 feet (60 cm) long.
The woman with the largest vagina goes to a Scottish giant named Anna Swan. She and her giant husband had a giant baby together. The giant baby’s head was 19 inches (48 cm) in circumference. You do the math.
See what other strange sex records have been set throughout history…
Farthest ejaculationHorst Schultz, USA
The farthest male ejaculation ever recorded was 18 feet (6 m) and was achieved by Horst Schultz. The farthest a woman was recorded to ejaculate was 10 feet (3 m). The most ejaculations for a man in one hour is 16.
In other semen-related sex records, a woman, Michelle Monahan of L.A., swallowed 1.7 pints (almost 1 liter) of semen and had to get her stomach pumped -- she became the first person to have this recorded, and therefore wins the award for the woman to swallow the most semen.
The woman to set the world record for most sexual partners in one day shagged a whopping 620 men in 24 hours. A male porn star by the dubious name of Jon Dough was supposed to have sex with 101 women in one day, but only managed to do 52 -- he did the others two weeks later.
Biggest orgyVolunteers, Japan
A recent achievement for Japan in the world of sex records was achieving the biggest orgy ever recorded, with 250 couples going at it in an extremely orderly fashion.
Youngest parentsShaun Steard, England
Lina Medina, Peru
Shaun was 12 years old when he got the world record for being the youngest father, but it is believed that there are younger undocumented fathers out there.
The youngest girl to give birth was 5-year-old Lina Medina, born in Peru in 1933. Incredibly this girl began menstruating at age 3, and despite being impregnated in the “usual” way, has never revealed who the father is. Her father was arrested and imprisoned on suspicion of incest, but was later released due to lack of evidence. The baby was delivered by caesarean because Lina’s hips were too narrow.
Most penis removalsKing Menephta, Egypt
In 1300 BC, King Menephta came home from battle after successfully beating the Libyans. To celebrate his success, he asked his men to chop off the penises of each member of the defeated army. He arrived home with 13,000 penises. His ancient monument at Karnak has a detail of which penis belonged to whom -- Libyan generals, Libyans, Sirculians, Etruscans, and Greeks.
breaking recordsThe world is never without weird, stupid or funny anecdotes and world records. Most of these sex records are unproven, but who cares; the fact that someone somewhere thought theirs was the biggest, longest, fattest, thinnest or ugliest brings a new dimension to the world of record-setting.
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